Wednesday, 22 May 2019

Planning A Wedding As A Parent

Planning a wedding is exciting, you're marrying the love of your life (well I hope you are), you get to wear a pretty dress and everyone makes a fuss of you. You hear of people taking years to plan their dream wedding, complete with castle, white doves, designer wedding dresses and fancy canapes that no one eats (seriously does anyone actually like them?). Wedding magazines and social media accounts are full of 'dream weddings' with beautiful young brides wearing sleek designer dresses and enjoying lavish wedding days with the average UK wedding costing a whopping £30,335! 


The wedding industry is full of these 'Dream Weddings' they start with cute engagement stories and huge sparkly rings. Followed by non-stop wedding planning, visiting designer boutiques to find the dream designer gown, having a whole 'bride squad' and a hen party abroad with everyone posing in white swimming costumes and posing on a bed with bride-to-balloons. 

It's an Instagrammers dream. 


But what happens when your a parent planning your wedding? 

Well let me tell you its a whole lot different, well it is for me anyway. 

There was no fancy engagement story and I didn't do bridesmaid proposal boxes or get a 'bride-squad' to fuss over me, I am having my girls as my bridesmaids so I will be the one fussing over them. There was no hen-party abroad posing with giant bride to be balloons, although I wouldn't have knocked a weekend partying in the sun. 

I am not knocking people who do all of that, each to their own. But I have realised since being in lots of Facebook wedding groups that other people think you need these things to have a 'dream wedding' and you honestly really don't, everyone's idea of a dream wedding is totally different. I have also realised that a lot of brides-to-be are actually parents who are trying to keep up with the image of having the dream wedding portrayed in magazines and on social media. 

But being a parent and planning a wedding can be hard work! 

Let's start with money, the average UK wedding costs over £30,000. I have three kids and as any parent will tell you having kids is not cheap, there is no way we could afford to splash out over £30,000 on a wedding day and honestly, I wouldn't want to. Parental guilt and all that. We have probably spent around £9,000 on our wedding (I am too scared to add it all up even though the wedding is less than two months away) and I feel so guilty about spending all that money on a wedding and not the kids. Plus whenever we save money to pay for something, we end up spending it on the kids as we have had to pay for uniforms, Christmas, birthdays, prom etc. 

Choosing a venue when you have kids is tricky too as a lot of venues we ruled out due to the children, we wanted somewhere we could relax a bit without fear of the kids running off or coming to danger. So venues near water or with lakes were ruled out, along with ones in the city centre near busy roads or anywhere too fancy and not very child-friendly. 

Meeting suppliers, again this is proving so tricky as we have to meet up with so many suppliers and we can't really rock up with three kid's in tow. So juggling the kids and the heap of meetings we have to attend is a bit of a nightmare at the moment. 

We also have to think about the kids, just because I am getting married doesn't stop me being a parent so on the day it is not all about me its about the kids too. We want them to have a good day so we have planned things to keep them occupied and happy. We are only having our children and my two nieces at the wedding though as even though we have kids I don't want loads of kids running around on my wedding day. 

I think planning a wedding when your a parent is definitely more challenging as you have to think about your children's needs as well. 

So yeah planning a wedding when your a parent may be more difficult, you may not have as much cash to splash or free time but just think of the memories you will make. I feel so lucky that my children will be a part of and remember our wedding day. I don't think anything will change when we get married as I think having children together is a bigger commitment than marriage, but I am looking forward to having the same surname as the children at last. 

Did you get married before or after having children?








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4 comments

  1. I think the expense of a wedding is the reason my fella and I are not married yet.
    There is so much to think about when you children are still young. Things I hadn't thought about. It is wonderful that they will be there to enjoy and remember your special day though. I think that's way more special than doves, designer dresses and having a "bride squad" x

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    1. I am so glad we did it and it is amazing how you can cut corners to save a bit of money, was amazing having the three kids there as they loved it as much as we did x

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  2. I love this honest post! You know my take on it / story after our chat on Twitter. It's 100% about you and your family not how much you spend, people can be guilty of focusing so much on that one day and not on the big commitment they are making for life. I can't wait to see your wedding pics, it is going to be beautiful! Melis x

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    1. Thank you so much, yep there was no magician at mine either haha x

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