Sunday, 30 August 2015

Being A Mum Of Three Is Hard

I love being a mam I really do, I know this sounds really cheesy but sometimes it feels like being a mam is what I was meant to do in life. My children are my whole world and I love them so much and I adore having a big family and a house filled with noise and laughter. Everything I do in life is for my children, I want to give them a good life and do the best for them. I want them to have the childhood that I had with foreign holidays and trips to Florida with parents who make them feel safe, secure, loved and happy. 

But I hold my hands up and admit that being a parent is hard, it is really hard. When I had my oldest I was so young at only 18 but I lived with my mum who helped me enormously. My mam taught me how to be a mam and she also looked after me, even when I moved into my own home she would do all my housework and help me with Chloe. 

When she died I had to stand on my own two feet and do things for myself but I managed and it was me and Chloe against the world, Chloe was like my best friend and we did everything together. Life was one big adventure just me and my girl and we had so much fun and so many adventures. Sure parenting was hard at times as a single parent I never had days off or sick days but I managed fine as it was just one little girl and me and I could devote myself entirely to her.

Ten years passed and I thought I had the whole parenting thing sussed out, I enjoyed it and loved being a mum. As Chloe grew she started getting independent and did not need me as much. Then we had Sophia and it was a huge shock to the system having a baby after such a big age gap, going back to sleepless nights was torture at first but I soon got into the swing of things and was lucky Sophia was such a good baby.

Being a mum of two was a bit more challenging as I had two girls who relied on me and wanted my attention. But I managed fine as when Chloe was at school I would spend time with Sophia we would go to so many baby groups and classes and then after school and weekends, I would spend time with Chloe while Sophia spent time with her daddy. We found a way that worked for us and we were managing fine as a family of four. 

When Sophia was just five months old I fell pregnant with baby number three and we were overjoyed when Jacob came into our lives a year ago he completed our family. We love him so much we really do and I would not change him for the world, but having three children is so hard. Every day it feels like a constant juggling act, I am on the go from the moment I wake up until the children go to bed. The house feels like it is always a mess as I never have time to tidy or if I do a little person comes along and makes it messy again.

 I never get two minutes peace to have a cuppa or do anything as there is always a child around wanting attention. When Chloe is at school I have the two little ones with me, when Jacob is napping Sophia will be awake wanting attention then when the little two are in bed Chloe will want my attention and housework needs doing. I never get two minutes to myself, some days I don't even get the chance to have a shower or brush my hair I am that busy. I feel like I am being pulled in three different directions at once and as for time with the other half, forget that it never happens as we never have anyone to watch the children and our relationship is suffering from it. 

The thing I struggle the most with is not the mess or the lack of time to myself. No, it is that I never get much one on one time with each child. Every day I feel guilty that I don't spend much time with Chloe as I am always busy with her younger siblings, we rarely have days out and adventures just me and her anymore and we no longer have that special bond we once shared, that breaks my heart. 

I can't remember the last time I got to spend time with just me and Sophia going out somewhere and getting to enjoy her and watch her discover the world. And I can count on one hand the number of times I have spent alone with Jacob since he was born. I feel like I have been too busy juggling all three children that I have missed out on all of Jacobs first year, that I have not enjoyed it as much as I should have done and now the baby days are almost over as my baby is now one. 

I hope my children know that they are loved, I hope that they know I wish I could spend more time with them on their own and I hope they know that I am sorry I shout too often and cry when things get tough. Yes being a mum of three is hard work and very challenging at times and it has almost broken me on more than one occasion, but I would never change it as when I see my children together and see the love they have for one another, my heart melts. And I know that when the little two grow that things will get easier and I will get more time with them on their own. 

But for now, I am going to try and enjoy the chaos and mess and lack of time to myself as I know that in a few years I will miss these days and look back on them fondly and wish I could relive them again. Being a mum of three is hard but I would not have it any other way, although a cleaner and a day off mum duties once in a while would be nice. 

If you have three or more children how do you manage? I would love to know as I am forever feeling guilty and like I am not giving my children enough undivided attention. 



  1. You are doing a fantastic job pet! I know how you feel with the guilt, Neil and Caitlin are less than a year apart and I always feel guilty I didn't get a chance to give each of them enough one to one time. I know what you mean about it being a constant juggling act too, as soon as you have finished one thing, someone else needs something. Mine are at school now so I get to drink my coffee while it's hot during the day and I can tidy up and the place will stay tidy for a few hours.... Imagine that! I miss them though, haha xx

    1. Aw thank you so much Lauren , being a mum is such hard work at times. I have found I am the same feeling guilty that I have never enjoyed my little two with them being 14 months apart. I can't wait until they start school and I can have a hot drink in peace and a tidy house , I bet I am the same though and end up missing them xx

  2. I love this post. I struggle it has unsung time for all my girls. We do what's best at the end of the day and they're only little once. You're doing great.

    1. Thank you Jodie, It is such a juggling act at times having three children. I like to think that they will grow up happy that they have siblings to play with though. You are doing an amazing job too especially having three so young and having to do school runs too xx


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