Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Feeling Old

On Monday night I had a rare night out, just me and my oldest girl. We went into Newcastle for something to eat and then to the arena to see The Vamps concert. It was so nice spending time just me and her as it is something that I don't get to do as often as I would like these days, as she is normally out with her friends or I am busy with her younger brother and sister. Anyway, the night out made me realise that I am getting old. 

concert ticket

Now I know I am only 31 but I have never felt my age, I have always felt and looked younger then I am. I had Chloe when I was only 18 so I have done thing's differently to most people my age, my partying days were when I was in my mid 20's, as that is when I had the freedom to go out when Chloe spent weekends with family. I started my degree at 23 when most people had already finished there's, I did not get my first proper grown-up job until I was 26 as all my previous jobs had just been rubbish part-time ones. I was always mistaken for looking younger and was always getting i.d on nights out or when trying to buy alcohol even in my late 20's. I still feel like I am only in my early twenties and that I only left school a few years ago - when in fact I left school fifteen years ago! 

But when I was getting ready to go out I had my first realisation that I am getting old. I dusted off my make-up box, quite literally as I rarely wear makeup these days. And half my makeup was missing, Chloe had stolen it and I never even realised! Then as I was looking in the mirror putting my make-up on I realised that I looked old. I have the odd grey hair, I have dark circles under my eyes that no amount of concealer will hide and I am getting frown lines. My eyes don't shine as bright and my skin does not look as youthful and glowing as it used to.

Walking to the arena I saw lots of teens in tiny dresses and crop tops and I instantly thought "god they must be freezing"! Now anyone who has been to Newcastle knows that you just do not wear a coat on a night out, ever. And us Geordie girls wear very little on a night out. A few years ago I went on a night out in the freezing snow in just a dress and high heels as did every other girl out that night. The fact I was thinking to myself the girls must be cold is clearly a sign of my age. 

There was also young girls walking along with there mums, who were dressed in 'mum' clothes of jeans, flat comfy shoes, plain top and a coat and I realised I was one of them now. I was a mum and I dressed and looked just like a one which I know is no bad thing.

Then at the concert, I realised that I had no idea who the hell The Vamps are, I did not know a single song. And they all looked so young! What happened to when pop stars were my age or older? I don't even know who is in the top ten these days or if there is still a top ten! And I am pretty sure that no one listens to the radio on a Sunday afternoon and listens to the chart countdown any more like I use to do. 

The concert was all drums and loud music with shouting and crazy flashing lights that were giving me a headache. Everyone was dancing and singing along having a great time and I ended up sitting down as I didn't fancy being whacked in the face by all the young girls waving their arms around in front of me. And everyone seemed to be filming the whole concert on mobiles, what is that all about? surely you cannot be enjoying the concert if you're spending the whole time watching it through your phone screen to make sure you get the best shot. Crazy! 

I ended up making Chloe leave before the final song had finished " to beat the rush " oh yes I was the mean and practical mum spoiling all her fun. Chloe said she had a great time even though she spent most the time videoing the whole thing on her phone and uploading photos to snapchat. 

In the car on the way home I was thinking yes I am getting older, I am a 31-year-old mum of three. I look, act and feel older but you know what I am the happiest and most content I have ever felt. And if getting older means I feel more content with life then bring it on, because to me being at home with my children and being the best mam I can be to them means so much more then nights out and spending hours on my appearance and trying to hold onto my youth.  I have a feeling my 30's are going to be way better then my 20's.  



  1. I have heard of The Vamps but only know one of their songs. The Cecilia one and that's only because Suggs sung it in the 90' I feel much older than 35 when I go to things like this with my girl....We saw One Direction last year and I felt ancient but I'm fine with feeling like this....I'd much rather be home with my feet up than dancing the night away x

  2. You definitely look younger than you actually are! I am also starting to realize that I am getting older, and stuff that were natural before now are so hard. But hey, that's life :)

  3. I love the feeling! I'm 31 this year. It's scary. I'm sure I'm really only 16 :)

    Cat x

  4. You don't look 31 I can tell you that! I definitely think feeling the cold is a sign of getting old. Like you, I used to go out in town in the snow with just a mini dress and heels, I would rather have come home with frostbite than be seen out in a coat, but I'm always looking at people now and thinking god they must be freezing. Saying that, am sure if I visited Newcastle for a night out again I would be out without a coat still ;)


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