Sunday, 14 February 2016

To The Parent Whose Baby Does Not Sleep.

To the parent who's baby does not sleep. 

I bet if you are reading this you are exhausted from yet another sleepless night, I bet you have bags under your eyes and are surviving on caffeine to get you through the day. I bet you are wondering when you will ever get a full nights sleep again and are busy counting down the hours until bedtime and keeping your fingers and toes tightly crossed that tonight might be the night that your baby actually sleeps all night.


I bet you have tried everything to get your child to sleep, bedtime routines, stories, snuggles, milk and kisses goodnight. I bet you have have tried cutting down day time naps, playing with them and taken them out for fresh air to try and tire them out. I bet you have filled their little tummies with food or milk (depending on their age), checked the temperature of the room and made sure it is just right. I bet you have made the room dark, or made the room light, tried musical toys, white noise devices and sung countless lullabies. 

I bet you have searched online for advice and tried everything going from cuddling baby to sleep, staying in the room with them or leaving them alone to cry, yeah I didn't like that one either. I bet you have tried putting baby in your bed, rocking them in the pram and pacing up and down trying to get them to sleep. I bet you have cried with exhaustion and willed your baby to just go to sleep, just the once so you can sleep. 

I also bet that you have been bombarded with advice from strangers and loved ones saying to do this and to do that to get baby to sleep, even though you have already tried everything they suggest multiple times. I bet you are sick of people saying "oh they should be sleeping through by now" or "you look tired". You might even feel like you are doing something wrong as everyone else's baby seems to sleep except yours, when you hear of babies younger then your own sleeping all night you think it is unfair. 

I know all of this because I have been there too very recently, my son is seventeen months and has only just started sleeping all night. I tried everything to get him to sleep and nothing at all worked, I was tired and grumpy and would weep with exhaustion thinking that he would never sleep. Then one day he slept all night, I had done nothing different and thought it was a fluke. The next night he slept all night again and the next and the next. It has taken a while but he has finally got the memo that night time is for sleeping. 

You know what ? Now that he sleeps I actually miss those nights he did not sleep when it was just me and him awake whilst the rest of the world slept, I must admit I do enjoy my sleep more though. So if your little one is keeping you awake all night rest assured that it won't last forever and someday they will sleep. So ignore all the comments and advice and just keep doing what you are doing, forget fancy gizmo's and changing routines as one day they will sleep and take you by surprise. Until that day remember that caffeine and cake are aloud when your sleep deprived and most important of all remember that you are doing a great job. 

Lots of love and a virtual coffee from one sleep deprived parent to another x


38 comments:

  1. Sleep deprivation is the worst isn't it! I was VERY lucky and yes smug too that Harry and Heidi both slept through from a few months. Jack on the other hand was a completely different kettle of fish and like your youngest was well over a year before he managed that magical step!

    Your advice is absolutely spot on - parents have obviously tried everything so there is no point in offering advice. Sometimes babies just don't sleep! Like you say, it really won't last forever x

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    1. Sleep deprivation is so the worst thing ever, I was like a zombie due to lack of sleep for over a year. I was exactly the same both my girls slept well from a really early age and then I had Jacob who was such a little terror in every way imaginable. xx

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  2. Love this! Parker still hasn't managed it at 6 months old and were not hopeful for it happening any time soon. I know like you I'll miss those extra snuggles when it does happen though xx

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    1. It is such a shock when your first sleeps and your second wont. Now Jacob sleeps I find myself waking just to check he is ok. Enjoy those precious snuggles while you can as they grow so fast xx

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  3. Can totally relate. Sleep deprivation sucks! Our eldest was 4years old before he slept all night. Our youngest is now 1 and he doesn't sleep either. One day I'll get some sleep lol x

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    1. It really does, it is like some kind of torture having no sleep. I keep telling myself someday I will get sleep too, just think when they are teenagers we will be wishing they were little and keeping us up at night again xx

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  4. Love this and thankfully have kids who have slept through mainly thanks to co sleeping. Great post with spot on info!

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    1. Thank you Deborah, I co-slept with my eldest and she was an amazing sleeper and never woke up early either. xx

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  5. A brilliant post for sleep deprived parents. Rowan started sleeping through the night at nine months old but it took a long time and trying lots of different things to get to that stage. One night of leaving him to cry for 15 minutes he then settled himself and that was it! Dead easy (NOT). He still grizzles a lot in the night so I still wake up to check on him on the baby monitor. My sleep deprivation is still here!

    Laura x

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    1. I am exactly the same now that my son sleeps I wake during the night to check on him. Jacob always fell asleep no problem but would then wake up countless times each night for milk, cuddles or his nappy changed as he hates being wet and wants changed every time he wee's. xx

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  6. My daughter was the same when she was a baby, but yes, I somehow miss those nights too. It felt a bit like "you and me against the world" didn't it? Especially now that she's 5, it feels like time is flying way too fast. Enjoy all the moments, even the bad ones, I think we have to constantly remind ourselves that :) x

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    1. It really does feel it is you are your child against the world when you are the only two awake, it is so tiring but also a little bit special. We really do need to remind ourselves to enjoy all the moments as time with little ones is just so precious x

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  7. Aw bless you. It is difficult when a child does not sleep and believe me I know as I have looked after many children but there will be a time when they will start sleeping!

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    1. Thank you Ana, it really is so difficult as no sleep is no fun at all. xx

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  8. Oh yes. Sleep deprivation is the worst! I am looking forward to the day he sleeps, but I know that when it gets here I'll be creeping back into his room to stroke his head, willing him to need a cuddle from Mummy!x

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    1. I am the type of mum who wakes each night and goes to check on my baby too, I sometimes just want to pick him up and give him a cuddle but don't want to wake him. xx

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  9. I do not yet have kids so i can only imagine what it's like and I am sure my insomnia is not where near what parents go through.

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    1. I think after a while you just get use to the lack of sleep, even now my son sleeps I still find myself waking up during the night as I am so use to it now xx

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  10. I can not relate at all. Both of mine slept through the night from about 6 weeks. I do however feel for you because if either of mine are sick or poorly and I'm up with them for a couple of nights i feel half dead. I can not imagine having a baby that does not sleep. I totally feel for you. xxBlogging Mummy

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    1. You lucky so and so lol, I was lucky with my girls as they both slept from early on so I think it came as a big shock that Jacob did not sleep. I feel half dead every day haha xx

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  11. I am going through through this currently with my 12 month old baby girl. Can't see her sleeping through anytime soon but I am definitely looking forward to when she does! X

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    1. Fingers crossed she starts sleeping soon for you. My son was 16 months when he started sleeping through and I honestly thought that it would never happen but it just did out of the blue xx

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  12. Excellent post and so true. I really think it will be a comfort to those in the middle of it. My 1yo has only just started sleeping through and has been much more trouble than her brother! Here's to a full night's sleep for all, eventually!

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    1. Thank you very much, it is such a shock to the system when your second child won't sleep after your first did. xx

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  13. this is lovely. None of my children slept through for years and by the time I had my 3rd I just accepted that was how it was. I now bring him into my bed when he first wakes and we co sleep. I have felt so much more better and now miss him when he sleeps longer. with 2 older children I'm all too aware that it won't last long.

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    1. Thank you Ali, I have tried bringing my son into my bed but he just thinks it is play time and starts bouncing about. I totally agree that it won't last for long and we really should just try to cherish these precious moments while they are small xx

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  14. Oh I am so glad for you that he has 'finally got the memo' I have had many friends go through the same thing. We are due with our second in May and I am keeping everything crossed we get another sleeper, although I am not sure I will be allowed to be that lucky. If Im not I will be back reading this! Thank you :) xx

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    1. I am so glad too, I am just hoping I don't jink things after writing this post.I hope you do get another good sleeper, both my girls were great for sleeping from an early age xx

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  15. great post! we were very lucky that we have a son who loves sleep as much as we do! the strangest thing is that I don't sleep very well - he sleeps fine! don't fear though I don't get off scott free! when he is ill there are days where he doesn't sleep at all!

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    1. Thank you Charlotte, Oh I wish my son loved sleep as much as I do that would be amazing ! My son is the other way around when he is ill he seems to sleep a lot more xx

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  16. I found it really hard when mine switched from waking every 3 hours to sleeping through. More tired because the routine/automatic wake up had changed.

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    1. I am the same I find that I am waking when he use to wake, even though he is fast asleep. I think we just get so use to waking up to check on them don't we ? xx

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  17. I love this, but I was a lucky one, My little lady would go to sleep around 9pm and sleep until 4am, she did this from newborn, and while it wasn't ideal it was a lot better than other parents so I couldn't complain. I do miss the odd night where we used to sit up, I would chat away to her and she would babble back, it goes so fast. x

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    1. Thank you Stephanie, Those nights are amazing as it just feels like it just the two of you in the world. I wish my little man had slept like that he use to wake every hour during the night for milk or a nappy change when he was a newborn xx

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  18. Sleep deprivation is the worst! I can see why it is used a form of torture! We had a few times like this with L but eventually he just slept too. I suppose its just their bodies growing and adjusting

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    1. It really is the worst and like a form of torture. I suppose it is just them growing and adjusting, I am so glad he finally sleeps though xx

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  19. Hahaha this is so me right now. Baby Splod is not having it! Even moved him into bed with my and OH and still won't settle. Waiting for that happily ever after x

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    1. I tried moving my son into my bed too, he thought that it was playtime and would bounce on the bed and laugh. xx

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