Friday, 29 January 2016

Falling Back In Love With Blogging

I first set this blog up to simply record my third pregnancy and my children's childhood, a sort of online journal really. I wanted something I could look back on in years to come, somewhere my children could look back on and see how loved they were and the adventures we had together. I had no idea that bloggers were paid to write content, that brands sent bloggers things to review and I had no idea how blogging really worked. I just decided on a whim one day to start a blog, which if I am honest looked pretty terrible back them. I did not care though as I simply blogged for me, I never in a million years thought anyone would read about my family life as quiet frankly I am pretty boring if the truth be told. 


People did start reading my blog though and after a while brands started offering me things to review and then I started earning money off my blog too. I thought this was great and never expected any of this to happen when I first started blogging. I began to think maybe I could turn my blog into a part time job so that I did not have to return to work after my maternity leave, as lets face it that is most parents dream job. 

Behind the scenes though all was not so great as a few months after starting my blog I had my son and from the get go he was hard work, like really hard work he screamed non stop for the first five months of his life and woke every hour during the night. I also had a 14 month old to look after who still needed lots of attention and an 11 year old who was just starting secondary school and was a typical tween with an attitude. The other half was working long shifts and we have no family at all to help us out, it is just us looking after the children 24/7 the best we can. 

It all got to much and I was exhausted, emotional and really struggled to cope. Don't get me wrong the children were well looked after and cared for but the house became a mess, I became a mess and I stopped going out on my own as it was just to stressful trying to go anywhere with a toddler and a baby who screamed nonstop. Some days I would not get dressed or brush my hair as I just did not have time, I sometimes went days without a shower and my make up case was gathering dust. I felt like a shell of my former self, I was suffering from PND but I didn't want to admit to it as I had no option but to just get on with things. 

The only thing that kept me sane whilst I spent endless days stuck indoors was this little blog of mine, I felt less lonely and made friends with some fantastic bloggers who I would now class as proper friends. However as things got more difficult at home I posted less and less posts about are family life and adventures, I found it hard to write about the things I wanted as I found it hard to say how I was truly feeling. I also became really anxious that if I posted photos of my children online they would get stolen or fall into the wrong hands, so I rarely posted photos of us. I know now that is highly unlikely as their is so many photos on the Internet, why would someone want mine when my photography skills need great improvement. 

So I stopped posting personal posts, I stopped posting photos and I spent less and less time on social media, as well I kind of stopped feeling social. Over the last year my blog has became full of reviews and sponsored posts and really impersonal posts with boring photos and that is not how I want this blog to be, blogs are meant to personal that is the beauty of them and what keeps people reading. If I was reader I honestly probably would not read most of my posts.

Over the last few months life has changed for me, I no longer feel as down as I use to as I am eventually starting to feel like me again. Jacob is actually starting to sleep and be less demanding which is probably helping greatly and I feel like the dark clouds are lifting. I want to go out and do stuff once again and no longer hide away at home. I am slowly starting to take more of an effort with my appearance again and I no longer cry in despair every single day. I feel happy and content for the first time in a long time and excited for the future.

Late last year my blog had a makeover from the amazing Ellie illustrates, as I use to cringe at how rubbish my blog looked before. I now love my blog design but the content is lacking and I am now ready to change things, to make this blog something I am proud of, as I rarely tell people about it and I rarely promote my posts on social media as I am not proud of them. I have decided that I will grab the chance this blog has given me with both hands, I am going to work hard to continue to make a part time income from my blog so I can be here for my children before returning to work when they start school. I also want to build on the relationships that I have made with other bloggers, as without this blog and them I probably would have crumbled and felt worse then I did, I kind of feel like this blog has kept me sane and I will forever be grateful for that.  

To do that I have to be happy with my blog and I have to love my blog and this got me thinking that back when I started this blog, when it looked a mess and no one at all read it I was so happy with it. The reason I was happy with it was because I wrote for me, I wrote what I wanted to and I wrote about my life. So starting from now this blog will have less reviews, less sponsored content and more posts about are family life. I am going to be posting more days out, activities with my toddlers, parenting posts and personal posts. I am also in the middle of planning a new feature on my blog featuring other bloggers family lives, keep an eye out for more details of that in the next few days.  I have fallen back in love with blogging again and I hope that this starts to show in my posts and that you will join me on my journey as I rediscover my love of writing and having adventures with my family here in Newcastle. 


24 comments:

  1. That's exactly what I decided to do too! I've written a post on writing for me but it won't be out till March as I have too much to write in between! I enjoyed this and hope you get the oh back to how you liked it!

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    1. Thank you Angela, it is so easy to get swept up in constant reviews and sponsored posts and lose track of why you started blogging in the first place. xx

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  2. Yes yes yes!! I got lost last year with crap so now I've been blogging as and when
    It's the best!! Look forward to your changes xx

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    1. Thank you Beth, I am glad I am not the only one who has gone trough this. I am loving all your recent posts, as you know xx

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  3. Lindsay, glad you're getting back to what you enjoy! I post just once a week, on Thursdays, and have done for 6 years now. I don't know how other bloggers post 3 or more times a week; I knew before I started that I'd never be able to do that. Though posting more frequently might make my blog more "successful," it would make me miserable! Do what makes you happy!

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    1. Thank you Jean That is amazing you have kept that up for six years, I hope I am still blogging after six years. I know I see so many bloggers who blog multiple times per day and I have no idea how they do it. I totally don't have the dedication to make my blog 'successful' I just want to make it into something I am proud of, if that makes sense ? xx

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  4. Yay!! I love this! You are fab and I have always loved your blog and I am so pleased that you are loving it again :) I agree, sometimes blogs can get a bit full of reviews and inpersonal SP, so it is important to find that balance that you are happy with :)

    Gemma xx

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    1. Thank you Gemma, I just want to move my blog away from the constant reviews and stuff as they take so much effort to write and I hate blogs that are review after review myself. I am going to make sure I balance things out more with way less reviews and more personal posts and days out and fun things that I enjoy reading about myself xx

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  5. Love this, and I'm soooo glad you're feeling yourself again and loving blogging once more. I've been a reader since day 1 as o think we both started at the same time. It's amazing how far we've come :) c

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    1. Thank you Emily, I know I have been reading your blog from day one too as you were one of the very first bloggers I spoke too. So much has happend since we started blogging we both have little boys and you are married and are blogs are so much bigger now then they were almost two years ago. I can't believe we have been blogging almost two years it is crazy as I still remember reading all of Indianna's weaning posts when she was a baby xx

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  6. It sounds like you've been through a difficult time and I'm so glad that you are feeling better now. I really enjoyed reading this because it reminded me that we need to remember why we started blogging in the first place instead of becoming obsessed with income and stats. Looking forward to reading your upcoming posts xx

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    1. Thank you Aimee, It has taken me so long to realise why I started blogging and what direction I want my blog to go in. Now I have decided on this I feel so much happier and excited about blogging again xx

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  7. So glad you are feeling more yourself and that your blog helped you get through. Hsving three you kids is s really big task. There are days when it defeats me! I love reading more personal posts. You can tell when a person is really putting their true self out there. I look forward to reading more.

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    1. Thank you Sarah, it really is a big task having three as it is a constant juggling act at times. I love personal posts too and those are the posts I love to write myself so I know taking my blog back in that direction is the right thing for me xx

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  8. Glad to hear you are starting to feel better and starting to love to blog again. I had PND with our eldest and nobody helped so I just got on with it. Life can get overwhelming at times. Your blog is great and Ill look forward to coming back and reading more :-) xx

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    1. Thank you so much Sam. That is exactly how I felt so I just had to get on with it , which is probably why it has taken me so long to start feeling myself again xx

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  9. This actually brought tears to my eyes, for many reasons. I obviously know you through a facebook group but didn't really know your journey, and it is lovely to read. I think you are amazing, and are amazing support to those blogging friend's. You mean as much to them as they do to you, I can assure you! Good luck with just enjoying it again! You will have a fantastic year I am sure xx

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    1. Thank you for such a lovely comment, I love having blogging buddies it makes the whole thing great and the blogging group is so supportive xx

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  10. I'm really glad you're getting back into the swing of things. Your blog is fab and I can't wait to see how you move forward with it. Looking forward to your new feature too.

    Laura x

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    1. Thank you so much Laura , I have to say I am loving your new blog design. xx

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  11. That's great I really look forward to reading more of your blog posts, I love your new design - but I do love Ellie Illustrates. I think when life at home is tough, blogging it tough, but I am really glad you are falling back in love with it x

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    1. Thank you Laura, I totally agree when home is tough as is often the case with little ones I find I just don't have the energy or focus to sit and write. xx

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  12. Yay welcome back! I totally understand about falling in love with blogging again and making changes. It took me to set up a whole new blog to feel refreshed and ready to be me. Good luck and i look forward to reading your blog posts xx

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    1. Thank you Rachel, I often feel like starting a new blog myself at times but I am finally starting to feel happy with this one. I love your new blog name xx

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