Monday, 2 November 2015

A Teenage Birthday

Last week my eldest daughter turned into an actual teenager as she celebrated her thirteenth birthday. One thing that I have noticed over the last few years is that as she has got older organising a birthday celebration has got so much harder. When she was younger I use to get so excited for her birthdays as it was magical seeing her face light up when she seen her gifts and watching the joy on her face as she enjoyed her party. I still get excited now and still love watching her face light up, but she does not get as excited now she is older. 

When she was younger planning a birthday was easy as I just rang up the local soft play booked a party and then turned up on the day with a cake. Soft play is a fail safe child's birthday venue in my eyes as it is so stress free, no worrying about making food, entertainment or mess as everything is taken care of. I was able to just sit and relax with a coffee with the other mums while the children ran around burning off energy, and I happily handed over £10 per child for the pleasure.

Fast forward a few years to the tween and teenage years and a soft play party really is not an option any more, so what do you do? The idea of a sleepover fills me with dread, plus is not possible having a baby who still does not sleep all night (who knew sleepless nights would come in handy one day). I struggled thinking what to do I suggested lots of things such as getting her nails painted with a few friends, going to the cinema with friends (apparently nothing was on), going bowling, everything I suggested was met with a no.



In the end she settled on a trip to Kaspas dessert restaurant with her best friend a few days before her birthday, on her actual birthday a meal at her favourite Indian restaurant with family. Followed a few days later with a birthday trip to Frankie and Benny's with a group of friends that I was not invited too, she went on her own with her friends (I dropped her off and picked her up) she paid for the meal herself, well with my money. She then went shopping on her own with her friends to spend some of her birthday money on make-up brushes and Costa hot chocolates. 

I felt sad, I thought back to all those birthdays when I was there to watch her face light up as she blew out her candles. I missed seeing her excited when each of her friends turned up to her party, I missed taking photos, I missed seeing her blow out the candles on her birthday cake and I missed are annual shopping trip into Newcastle that we use to go on every half term to spend her birthday money in Fenwicks toy department. 

I realised that my baby girl who I remember blowing out the number one candle on her Winnie the pooh birthday cake all them years ago is grown up. She is now a teenager who had a make-up bag style cake. She no longer needs me like she use to, yes she still needs a mum to look out for her but she is all grown up now and is gaining Independence. She would rather be with her friends then her mum, even on her special days. 

Turning thirteen has made me realise that I only have a few short years with her until she is fully grown and ready to fly the nest and make her own way in the world. In five years time she could be off to university living miles from home, in four years time she will be learning to drive and in three years time she will be getting ready to leave school and deciding who she wants to be in life. 

I understand that it is all part of grown up and it happens to everyone, I know over the next few years I will have to let her figure out who she is, let her make her own mistakes and gain some interdependence. I love watching her grow and seeing what a beautiful young girl she is inside and out, catching a glimpse of what she shall be like as an adult. 

But I am not ready for her to grow up yet, she is still my baby girl and the years seem to have flown by oh so fast. Now the little girl who I watched take her first wobbly steps, who held my hand to cross roads and who I tucked into bed each night is no longer a little girl but a teenage girl with her own mind and who is almost the height of me. Now she is a teenager I miss those soft play party's and watching her play with her friends. I remember every second of her childhood and I am looking forward to seeing what kind of young adult she becomes. 

Teenage years I am ready for you, but time please stop going so fast as I want to enjoy these years with my children for just a while longer before they fly the nest. 

If you have teenage children how do you feel about them getting older?

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18 comments:

  1. 13! I have this yet to come. My boys are more in to bowling and sleepovers at the moment. I cab not believe how quick all our kids are growing up!

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    1. I know they grow up far to quickly don't they, it is scary. They will always be are babies though no matter how old they are. xx

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  2. Ahh this is so lovely but so sad at the same time. Our eldest is 4, so still into kids things but I know those years will fly past!! Glad she had a good time

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    1. The years really do fly past so quickly, I still remember my eldest being four like it was yesterday even though it was nine years ago now xx

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  3. Children seem to grow up far too quickly for my liking. My boys are only 3 and 2, so i know i have the 'teenage years' still to come but it's hard enough now accepting they're growing up so i dread to think what i'll be like when they turn 13. Hope your daughter had a lovely birthday though and enjoyed her trip to Kaspas. xx

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    1. They really do I am sure time speeds up when you are a parent. She did have a lovely birthday thank you Vikki xx

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  4. Oh my gosh what a grown up birthday party!!! Going with her friends, on their own to Kaspas & shopping is big stuff! 13 is a big birthday! I can't imagine my babies turning 13 but I know it will come around far too quickly. x

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    1. I know I worry so much when she is out with her friends , I only let her in the local town we live in though as I am too scared to let her go to the city on her own yet. xx

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  5. Wow that is a grown up party. My god daughter and her best friend went for a spa afternoon on her 16th and I was shocked, I am sure I was out doing things I should never have been doing at 16 x

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    1. Wow that would be such an amazing but grown up sixteenth birthday, I am sure children are grown up quicker then when I was younger xx

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  6. It sounds like she had such a lovely birthday with all her family and friends. I can't imagine what it must be like to have s 13 year old daughter. My daughter is only 5. I'm enjoying all the control (especially over party planning) that I still have at present! X

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    1. She really did thank you. Five is a lovely age, I wish my daughter was five again at times xx

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  7. Oh this really made me tear up - how quickly time moves. I can't imagine Aidan being independent and in a way ignore that it will happen but this post definitely made me want to appreciate the time while he's young. Hopefully she had a great day with her friends though - I suppose once she is happy then so are you :) x

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    1. Yes as long as she is safe and happy then that is all that matters to me. I miss her being little so much though, I am sure you will appreciate every second with Aiden and baby boy bump while they are small xx

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  8. My son is 2 1/2 and I dread the day he goes to school! Life with children goes so fast! Even though she seems like a little independent lady, she most definitely needs her mum in her teenage years more than she knows xx

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    1. Life with children really does go by so fast, it is scary isin't it xx

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  9. Oh this is the most lovely post, I can literally feel how you feel even though my lady is only 3, it's all ahead of me and you've articulated it so beautifully

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    1. Thank you Eimear for such a lovely comment. Enjoy every second with your toddler xx

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