Wednesday, 29 April 2015

What I Would Say To A New Mum

When you have a baby you are bombarded with well meaning advice from your relatives and even random people you meet in the street. Everyone will have something to say to you, no matter if it is your first or third child. My third baby is eight months old and i still get it all the time. You get so much advice, many of it conflicting and you don't know what to listen to and what not as having a baby is such an amazing and life changing, but let's face it sometimes rather difficult period in a persons life. 



With my sister in law and many of my friends about to have babies soon it got me thinking what would i say to a new mum? what words of advice would i offer? I asked some fellow parenting bloggers on my facebook page and this is what we would say to a new mum.

1.) Trust Your Instincts. 

Pippa from Red Rose Mummy has some brilliant advice she says

 " No-one knows your baby better then you do. If in doubt seek help, but you'll get lots of advice that might not sit right with you. Have the courage to nod and smile when people give you advice. " 

2.) Listen with a nod and a smile. 

Steph from Mental Parentals gives similar advice she Say's.

" Listen to everyone's advice with a nod and a smile, but only take on board and use the techniques that you think will work for you. Everyone is different as parents and every baby has their own needs."

I totally agree with this as i was told to put baby rice in Jacobs bottles when he was six weeks old so he would sleep through the night , i kid you not. Of course i totally ignored the advice as that is not recommended at all and is something i would never do. 

3.) Remember there is no such thing as a perfect mum.

I think as mum's we put far to much pressure on are self to have the perfect tidy home, to look immaculate at all times, to have well behaved and well dressed children. We see celebrities doing it and other people doing it on social media so we try to live up to these expectations are self. But there is no such thing as perfect and we need to remember that. So what if your house needs hovered and there dishes in the sink and your still in your pj's at lunchtime, nobody cares. As long as you and your baby are happy that is all that matters. The celebrities in the magazines probably have paid help and the people on social media are only shown you what they want you to see. Nobody is perfect. 

4.) Don't worry about baby number two when you have only just had number one. 

Jess from Mrs Helicopter mentions something that i myself was very guilty of

" Don't start worrying about how you will cope with two children when you've only just had one. I did this and know quiet a few others who did too and found it so overwhelming and scary that we immediately started obsessing about how there was noway we thought we could cope with another. The second time around is bliss in comparison. So just concentrate on acing the first and by the time you have your second you will be a pro."

5.) Enjoy the night feeds.

I know you will probably think i am crazy saying this, but honestly enjoy them as they really do not last long at all. I use to love when my son woke up for feeds as i would give him his bottle while he cuddled up to me and he always fell asleep in my arms. Everyone else was asleep, the house was quiet and it was just me and him. At the time night feeds were torture but i miss them now as they were special and so peaceful. 

6.) Take lots of photographs.

Seriously take millions of photos every single day. Until you have your own child you do not realise how quick they grow so take tons of photos so you remember. And don't forget to take a photo of them in all there little outfits as they grow out of them so quickly.

7.) It does get easier.

Those first few months are hard with a baby. Your hormones are all over the place, your tired, the baby will cry a lot. Someday's you will think you can not cope or wonder what on earth you have let yourself in for. But it does get easier your baby will soon sleep better, your hormones will go back to normal in a few weeks and you will get use to life with a baby. It gets easier i promise you that. 

8.) Ask for help if you need it.

You don't have to act like superwomen and do everything yourself, it is okay to ask for help if you need it. If the baby has had you up all night or your struggling with feeding your baby or you just want five minutes to have a shower in peace. Just ask for help, it is okay to ask. You don't need to do everything, remember a relaxed and happy mummy makes a relaxed and happy baby.

9.) Your doing a great job.

Andrea from Blogger Mumma gives the best advice ever

" Your doing a great job" is all she would say as she said that " sometimes those little words are the only words needed. Being a mum is an overwhelming and magical experience. Your told what to do and how to do it in 101 different ways. When sometimes just a simple compliment is the only 'advice' needed." 

So there we have it that's what us mums would say to any new mums or mums to be out there. Remember take lots of photos, ignore the advice, enjoy it, trust your instincts and above all else your doing a great job.


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21 comments:

  1. This is a great post with great advice. It's amazing the way we would think differently if we could do it all again. I used to love the night feeds :) x

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    1. I miss the night feeds they were such a lovely time, i wish i had of appreciated them more at the time though xx

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  2. I still need to remind myself of number 3. The internet often makes you feel like there is

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    1. I know the internet can make us all feel like everyone else has a better life then us at times but as long as we are happy thats all that matters xx

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  3. I like the advice here, particularly trusting your instincts. It takes a while I guess to work out what our instincts are in the all new world of motherhood but so true. I wish I had done it more. Great post.

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    1. Thank you Kirsten, i know i have only started trusting my instincts more with baby number three xx

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  4. Great post Lindsay, there is so much advice out there isn't there. I found it so overwhelming x

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    1. Thank you Sarah, there really is so much advice and i too felt very overwhelmed xx

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  5. Great post, and totally agree with everything!!

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  6. Great advice. Trusting yourself and enjoying each moment, even the tough ones, are so important x #sharewithme

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    1. They really are Sara i struggle with enjoying each moment and is something i need to work on more xx

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  7. Oh this is perfect! Such lovely advice for any mums-to-be. I especially agree with number 7. The piece of advice that I was given that stuck with me was from my sister who told me that I just need to get through the first 6 weeks, after that it does start to get much easier! x

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    1. Thank you Madeline , it really does get easier i think it is because we kind of know what we are doing xx

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  8. Lovely advice that I need to try to remember, even several months in. Even when it feels like it's not getting easier, we are always getting better at working out what our babies want and need, so it won't always feel as hard as it does at the beginning x

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    1. Just remember you are doing a great job xx

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  9. Lovely advice! I definitely think it's important to just nod, smile and ignore advice that doesn't sit well with you. Definitely having someone telling you what a wonderful job your doing is a good thing, not sure if anyone has said that to me! :) xx

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    1. Thank you Jenny, no-one has ever said that to me either but i love that advice and i wish i had someone like Andrea around who had of told me it too xx

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  10. Great advice hun. It's great that we share our experiences and help other moms out there that are just starting out and support each other as much as possible as parents. I think others should do more of that than judging. We all aim for the same things in the end and it's great feeling to have support when you are a first time mom. Great post. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

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    1. Thank you Jenny and thanks for hosting xx

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  11. Lovely post Lindsey! I would have loved to read this when I was a new mum - I think particularly stressing about having 2...I stressed myself out that I'm still not ready and Reuben will be 3 in August!!

    Thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

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