Monday, 4 August 2014

Big Age Gap Babies

I have two girl's Chloe who is eleven and Sophia who is one. Yes that is right there is a ten and a half year age gap between my girl's and when i tell people this they are normally shocked as most siblings normally only have a few years between them. But let me explain why there is such a big age gap and also what it is like having two children with such a big age gap.

My girl's meeting for the first time.
I was only 18 ( almost 19) when i had Chloe and to me that's really young to have a child. Me and Chloe's dad had a very on/off kind of relationship, mostly off. We never lived together or anything so i was in effect a single mum. And to cut a long story short he is no longer in her life and she has not seen him for many years now. I didn't want to be your stereotypical teenage mum living on benefits and having lots of children, i was well and truly single and had no interest in dating as i was too busy being a mum. I was studying with the open university to get my health and social care degree and my days were filled with play dates and days out with Chloe and being the best mum i could be to her. I use to get broody all the time and dreamed of giving Chloe a brother or sister and having a happy little family life like the way i was brought up , but i wanted to wait until i was older and had a steady job and was in a serious relationship with the right person before thinking of having another child, i did not want to just settle down for the sake of it.

Then by chance in August 2011 i was at work at a special needs disco of all places when i got talking to some work colleague and one of them was Lee and we met up outside of work and i think we both knew pretty much straight away that there was something special between us. He was the first 'boyfriend' i had introduced Chloe too and she loved him and we were living together by the January and i fell pregnant with Sophia in the August one year after we first met after only a month of trying for a baby. Sophia was born in May 2013 when Chloe was ten and a half years old.

So what is it like having big age gap babies? I honestly love the age gap there is between the girls. When i was pregnant with Sophia, Chloe was so happy to be getting a sibling and she use to feel her kicking all the time and we involved her in everything she came to the 20 week scan and was over the moon when she found out she was getting a sister. She use to pick out baby clothes for her and she even picked her pram. And when Sophia was born Chloe was the first one we told and my dad brought her to the hospital an hour after she was born and she was the first person to meet Sophia and she fell in love with her the minute she seen her.

Chloe was a great help when Sophia was tiny she use to love holding her and feeding her and as she grew she loved playing with her and making her giggle. They honestly do love each other so much and there has been no jealously or anything off Chloe. I think the fact there is such a big age gap is also a good thing as it means i have been able to give both girls one on one attention as when Chloe is at school i can spend all day with Sophia and we go to baby classes and then once Sophia is in bed or when her daddy is off work i get time with Chloe.

The big age gap does not even matter when it comes to things like day's out, obviously there are some thing's Chloe likes to do that we have not been able to do now we have Sophia like weekends away at theme parks and holidays abroad but she has not missed out on them as she is lucky that she has done these things with family. And most of the things she likes doing like going to concerts and the cinema we still do when Lee is off work to watch Sophia. And a lot of family days out we can still do as Sophia is happy to go anywhere.

I really do love the age gap between my girls they are at totally different stages in there lives and i am sure there will be lots of arguments in a few years when Chloe is a teenager and Sophia is a toddler pinching her make-up. But such a big age gap means both girls get my attention and Chloe is so independent now that she does most stuff herself, so i don't feel like i need to look after her as much. 

The only bad thing about such a big age gap is that when you have a older child you forget how hard the sleepless nights are and how tiring having a baby is and you have to buy all the baby equipment all over again and as your older child is starting to get independent and you get use to having more time on your hands and being able to do more grown up things with them you are back to the baby stage starting all over again with sleepless nights, early morning, nappies and toddler groups.

So that is why there is such a big age gap between my girl's and what my experience of having children with such a big age gap has been like so far. But now i will be going in the opposite direction as in the next two weeks i will be having baby number three and Sophia will only be 14 months old so i will be having small age gap babies too which i am sure will bring me lots of new challenges and be totally different to having big age gap babies. I am sure that once i have recovered from the sleepless nights i will be writing about my experience of having small age gap babies. If you have children with either a big or small age gap i would love to know how you got on and wish me luck as i become a busy mum of three to a tweenager a toddler and a newborn i think i am going to need it!

6 comments:

  1. Good luck :)

    There's ten and a half years between me and my little sister. I loved it. When I was old enough I used to take her out places and she loved coming with me to do things.

    Also like you I'm a mum at 19, now I'm 20 and going to finish my uni course next year and unsure where in our future other children will be :( xx

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    1. Thank you for reading and for sharing what it is like. I hope that my girls get on as well as you and your sister do. I was the same at your age i wanted another child but it just did not feel like the right time/ right circumstances but i am sure that you will have another child when the time is right i am so glad i waited to have more children. Good luck with uni when you go back xx

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  2. I have small age gaps just under 14 months between my 1st two and 2 years between no 2 and 3 it's lovely having them so close very busy! But we have lots of fun

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    1. Thank you for reading and sharing what it is like for you i think it will be nice to have a small age gap when they are older but i am dreading what it will be like in the first few months. It must be lovely to have all your children so close in age and i bet they grow up to be the best of friends x

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  3. I was interested to read this as, as you kno, Im about to have my 2nd and also have a 10 year age gap. Like you, Ive included Bradley in as much as poss during this pregnancy and he's so excited for his little brother to arrive, I just can't wait to see them together!! :)
    Lianne | TheBrunetteSays...

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  4. I hope baby makes an apperance for you soon! I bet bradley and the baby fall in love with each other as soon as they meet and he will make a fantastic big brother. The ten year age gap is lovely as you get time on your own with both of the children and the older child understands more and does not need as much looking after. I bet the two of them are adorable together , good luck for labour xx

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