Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Overprotective Mum

I don't write much about my oldest daughter Chloe on my blog as she is 11 year's old and in a few year's time she will probably be on social media sites and she will more then likely be very embarrassed of me writing a blog post about her. It will be like your embarrassing childhood photo album's on the Internet for all to see and lets face it most teenagers are already embarrassed by there parents. 

Day's out and activity's we have done together i think she will fine with as as they will be lovely to look back on in year's to come, but anything personal and i think she will rightly so go in a strop about - i can so remember being embarrassed by anything personal being mentioned as a teenager parents can be so cruel at times. When i take a photograph of her she likes to approve them and any she is not happy with have to be immediately deleted from the camera/phone forever so no one can see. The joy of having a tweenager!

my girl chloe aged 11
 Having an eleven year old is such a awkward age, in some ways she is still my little girl she still loves her toys especially Lego friends and monster highs and any kind of art and craft activity. She still loves family days out and she will come to me for a hug if she hurts herself or she is upset about something. She still loves Disney films - admittedly so do i and i am thirty. She still looks like a child and she is still in primary school. But in the last six months or so she is starting to change into a teenager before my very eyes. She is almost as tall as me for a start, she starts secondary school in September, she is union j ( a band) crazy she loves painting her nails and experimenting with make - up and perfumes.She likes to pick her own clothes and knows her style- which is leggings or skinny jeans with a hoody and converse.She spends hours on her tablet playing games and watching her frave t.v shows icarly, victorious and Sam and cat. She wants to stay in bed until midday on weekends and she is also starting to get a bit of a attitude - "you are so embarrassing" and "you never listen" are just some of her favourite phrases as is huffing and stomping up the stairs to her room when she cant get her own way.

 But to me she is still my baby. I really can not believe that i almost have a teenager i honestly do not know how that happened , i still feel like a teenager myself - admittedly i don't look like a one any more and i even have the odd grey hair but i still remember being at school like it was yesterday.

 The problem that i am finding is when and how do you learn to let go of your grown children? Many of Chloe's friends walk to and from school on there own, a few even go shopping into Newcastle all by them self! And the idea of both of these things fills me with dread.

When she starts secondary school in September she will be going to and from school on her own (thankfully it is closer then her primary school and just 5 minute walk from are house) so i know i have to start letting go of her before September but i am finding it so hard. The idea of her walking to school on her own at the moment brings me out in a cold sweat! her current school is a 15 minute walk away and you have to cross two busy roads to get there without a lollipop lady or a traffic light in sight. I have visions of her being hit by a car or being kidnapped by a stranger, i know i am crazy to think these things but i just cant help it i am a born worrier in life.

 Don't get me wrong i don't wrap her up in cotton wool , o.k maybe i do a little bit but i did let her go to France for a week with school a few months ago ( yes i cried when she went and i missed her like crazy and worried about her everyday with thoughts of ferry sinking's and kidnaps and terrorist attacks and all sorts of crazy thoughts running through my head that could harm her) she plays out with her friends and i have even started to let her go to the local park with her friends for a hour , i clock watch until she gets home.

 But i know that i need to stop worrying so much and i need to start letting her go more places on her own now she is starting to grow up , but i am just finding it so hard. You think the baby years are the hardest as you worry about newborns so much then you worry when they start school and then you worry even more when they grow and start to be independent i dread to think what i will be like once she reaches 18 and wants to go to university and out drinking & clubbing.

 I want to keep her young and innocent for as long as possible i don't ever want her to turn into a streetwise cheeky 13 year old hanging around street corners caked in make up drinking and terrorising old ladies. If she ever turned out like that i would be so ashamed and feel like a failure of a parent. But she is a good kid so i think it is very unlikely she will turn out like that so i no i need to stop worrying and give her some independence as it is all part of growing up but it is so hard to let go.

 How did you cope with your child grown and letting them start to go places on there own? I would love to know as i feel like the most over protective silly mum at times.

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